Antara Gapi hit again..

Last sat Antara Gapi was hit again by Whirlwind Wendy!

Whirldwind & I have adopted Kasih Sayang Welfare Home as our pet project to which we go once a month for a visit, change the magazine, books that whirlwind have collected and bring sundries and say Hi to the dwellers. Nutty Nat was to have followed but she called in "unwell". Must have been something she swallowed the night before. Since it was a sunday, we went to FRIM for our weekly supply of fresh air and then to Restoran Sg. Tua for our Chick Chop, Kofi & Barley before heading up to Serendah.

This time around we brought more than magazines. As you can see the vehicle that once was carrying a beautiful painting now transports 100pkts of Organic Bee Hoon courtesy of Justlife. There were some soft toys donated by friends too. See, Whirlwind true to her name collects these stuff from her mates and also actively calls if anyone has anything they would like to contribute to these old folks & children and she will go collect them.

The Organic Bee Hoon is a timely deliverance as their store is all but empty. Fortunately for them there were two guys who brought some rice, oil and biscuits just as we approached the home. Nice to know that there are more people helping out. Whirlwind was Santarina this time around handing out the softies to the kids. It is a blessing always...to see a child's eye light up with joy & laughter. I went to visit our diabetic lady. She was as always happy to see company and especially so when company speaks Hokkien. This time she did not complain about being hungry but a little drama ensued when the helper asked her to take her medication...she cried. She cried because she didn't want to sleep. The medication makes her sleepy.

We did not stay long as we were both rather exhausted and we had more other things to do. As usual a trip with Whirlwind is never quiet. We shared our points of view from anything to everything. Yak yak yak & yadda yadda yadda...

Speedy's

My heart skips more than a beat when i finally look up after taking a deep breath. It was not for the lack of breath but more in disbelieve. I could not believe that after 34 years, i am finally standing in front of the one place on earth that i have always wanted to come back to. Home!

Memories come flooding back as i walk step by step up those age old steps leading to Speedy's. Steps taken by my father and his father before him. It was an emotional homecoming. I was happy to be back and sad that i stand alone on the steps leading up Speedy's but deep inside my heart i knew my ah kung & ah poh is with me.

The front of the Resthouse with steps leading to the lounge area where my ah kung's second in command ah kung ah deh took the orders and brought the food out to the guest. Busy times would see him balancing 3 plates on each arm and he had long arms as he served the guest in his black pants and starched white shirt. If you can't imagine that, go to Colliseum if it's still there.

The kitchen is directly in front of the water tank to the left of the picture. That was where my ah kung & ah poh cooked up their best for the mat sallehs who were regular guest at Speedy's. Standing here i can smell the wood fire they used to cook the dishes with on those iron stoves. The smell of bacon & eggs, fries and of course the chicken chop & pork chop waft the air. The eggs sizzling on the hot pans. Hmm...it maybe 34 years but it sure smells like it's on the stove now. The room to the far left was where i cut my toe opening a bottle of chocolates my aunty put in a jam jar. I still have the scar on my right toe to show for my misadventure.

The green patch on the right used to be a fertile ground with cabbages, vege, long beans & gourds hanging from trellises. My ah poh's garden. On the left is the kitchen's window & back door from which I once flew out. My ah kung was busy cooking and i was bugging him for something or other and he, being of short temper picked me up and threw me out the window muttering under his breath. My very first experience with gravity. I believe i can fly...

Walking around it and seeing the dilapidated condition of the resthouse brought a sadness over me. Speedy's was never grand but it had warmth. It's walls filled with laughter, joy & tears, stories told over candlelight and tea & hot chocolate sipped next to the fireplace on a cold cold night. The smell of fried bacon, chicken & pork chops, custard & scrambled eggs fill the kitchen walls and dining halls. The sound of crickets, hornbills, elephants, bears & the occasional roar of the tiger can be heard in the valley below. I lived here with love and i loved..here.

Mist fills the valley and begin to rise as the temperature drops. I take one last look at my beloved Speedy's and bid it adieu promising to return again. My heart and feet is heavy. I reluctantly turn and head back downhill to where my mom is waiting. I feel a beautiful sadness wash over me.

I will return.

Stairway to Haven

These steps have borne witness and the weight of 3 generations of Tans starting with my grandfather, my father and finally me.

My very first memory of these steps were from the black & whites i have of my mother standing with my grandfather's very first grandson...me. My mom had on the shortest mini skirt i ever saw. The kind that Lulu wears. My dad stood on these steps in his black pants and shirt and a fedora on his Elvis-curry-puff hairdo with a kapok slung on his shoulders. I don't know if he actually knows how to play the damn thing. A kapok is a guitar by the way. My dad's i presume. My dad used to think he was John Wayne that's why till this day he wears boots. He also believes he is Elvis and Jim Reeves. Jake was his nick.

These are the same steps my ah kung & ah poh walked up when they first set foot on these hills to be caretakers of Speedy's Resthouse. We hainanese are known for our culinary skills. My ah kung made one of the best custards ever. His chicken chop, inchikabin and scrambled eggs were the best in the world.

Beyond these trumpet-like flowers lies the jeep stop which my ah poh would wait for the jeep to bring her downhill to Taiping to do her marketing. These trumpet-like flowers are not natives to these hills, well they were not here 40 years ago.

The jeep stop is also where the resthouse guest would alight and make their way up the steps and to their lodgings. They had Speedy's, The Nest or Box to choose from.

These steps lead me to a place i once called home. A place where a million memories come flooding back as i acsend each step. A place where i spent the first 6 years of my life.

The Long Trek 'Home'

My long awaited return to my beloved haven continues with a trek up the hill. I walked and take in the all too familiar sights and air.

The smell of impending rain fills the air and a cool breeze blows across my face. I take a deep breath and fill my lungs with the fresh rainforest air. The smell of the forest of old i know only too well. The winding & narrow mc adam tar road is only all too familiar to me. I may have travelled it by jeep many many years ago but it's still the same and strangely i remember it as if it was yesterday that i travelled this path.

Road signs a bit worn and covered with algae making it redundant unless one gets up real close to see them. It serves as direction of sorts i guess. Left right or something like that.

Plants growing by the slopes enveloping the hillside like an emerald carpet. One would feel tempted to just lie on it and forget one's woes but i had a mission.

Mist shrouding the surrounding hills. A pretty sight to behold as the mist and clouds dance and weave their way through the trees and it's branches.

Caterpilars frolicking and getting a bit of the waning sunlight. The bright orange caught my attention. They must be awaiting their turn to metamorphose into butterflies but at the moment they seem to be enjoying being caterpillars mulching away at the succulent fern.

I continue my trek as i take all the sights and sounds in. I was on a tight timeline as the jeep's scheduled downhill trip was to be at 1500hrs. I had about only 30mins to explore as i had to take in the time required to go back to the jeep station or i would have to trek all the thousand plus meters back down. I began to feel anxious. I walk faster and faster and as i was about to turn back i smelled it. The all too familiar smell of my favorite tree whose roots my ah poh used to make an ointment with. I knew i was close...i trekked faster.

I take all this in but my mind is in a place i once called Home.

Dahlias

Dahlias or so my mom tells me, are the beautiful flowers that colored my life when i was but a wee kid. I was brought up in Maxwell Hills from when i was born till i was 6 years old or so.

I remember all the Indian amahs (coolies from India) that were tending to them. Fertilizing and pruning and keeping them gorgeous. There were reds, yellows, orange and reds. The amahs were tall and wiry and they always dressed in their sarees when they were cutting grass and weeding the beds. I remember the silver anklets that they wore clinging & clanging as they walked bare footed around the grounds. Every now and then they would go...ptui as they spit out the red stuff on the ground. Sireh as i now know it, then i thought it was blood. Aiya...she is spittin blood! They would use the cresent shaped scythes, sabit, to cut the grass as there were no lawnmowers up where we were. One of the amahs actually gave me a sabit cos i loved watching them do the gardening. I still remember her as the tall and wiry one in her saree. She must hav been the tallest lady i ever knew. They kept the grounds of our resthouse nice and pretty. Till this day i love the smell of fresh cut grass and the pretty sight of flowers and the sabit. Not the sireh tho.

I spent another 15mins at this jeep station before my heart urged me to move on, to climb higher, to go back...HOME.

1036m above sea level

Fresh crisp air at 1036m above sea level.

Nothing much has changed after 30 years at this half way jeep station. The undulating land looks the same as the last time i was here with my brothers and my cousin Dean and our mothers. The landscape looks the same minus the pretty flowers that was once flourishing on its slopes. Lost too are the rest houses that served tea and toast. Butter and jam. The new management of the hills must know zit about running a hill station resort. I feel a deep sadness as i surveyed the surroundings i once knew so well even as a 10 year old then.

Mom and i just looked on with fondness and longing and sadness fell over us. The kind you feel deep down knowing something is lost forever. This hill station as we knew it, is lost to us forever.

Bukit Larut

Nov 20th, 2006... 30 years after I last set foot on Bukit Larut I finally managed to get 2 tickets for a ride up.

It was not without drama though. I managed to persuade my mom to come with me on this trip after performing the 49th day rites for ah por. We went to the ticketing office and asked for tickets. The ticket attendant told me, " sori encik, ada pokok tumbang. Jip tak boleh lalu. Tak tau bila boleh clear." My heart sank. Not again! I have been here so many time and every time i can't get tickets cos it's fully booked. Now ada ticket but tree tumbang. I was very disappointed. So close yet so far. Fuck! I muttered under my breath. I so wanted to go up. I was about to go but something told me to wait. Hang on...and i did. 15mins later the all clear came...i thanked my grandparents...my ah kung & ah poh. At 1300 hours the jeep starts up Bukit Larut.

You see.. you can't drive up Bukit Larut cos the road is very steep, narrow and winding. Only the Land Rovers are allowed up driven by experienced drivers which we use to call 'pilots'. The width of the road is only meant for one vehicle so no private cars allowed. The other way up was of course by foot which was how my ah kung and ah poh went up in the early days. These 'pilots' are experts of these roads. There are many blind corners as the road winds up the hill. Many turnings are practically 360 degree turns and they traverse it with ease.

One cautionary advise though. If you decide to go up via the Land Rovers just make sure you are NOT fully filled up with kai si meen or any of Taiping's goodies and DON'T look back. You don't wanna be responsible for messing up the guy sitting next to you

Ginawoku

Nov 17th friday, celebrated ginawoku's birthday.

A Simple soul,
Honest & pure,
Her world she feels secure.

Trusting & Loving,
Crying & Laughing,
An authentic creature.

Bitching & Moaning,
Screaming & Yelling,
A hidden nature.

Soft & Gentle,
Huggable & Lovable,
A real treasure.

A week of friends

Uncanny week on my extended weekend.

Friday i met the Kimster who is currently based in Penang at PJ, sat i met up with windee in Ipoh and later that evening i met up with Binks in Taiping. Mind you... i never made any appointment with anyone except windee in case y'all think it is meant to be a scandalous weekend.

Just so happened that these 3 mousekeeters were on a road "bingeing" trip from KL to up North. They were just following their 'gut' feel based on a Northern food guide booklet. Binks is a dear dear friend and "family" and since i was on a free and easy trip myself i decided to be their guide. Brought them to the War Memorial, Burmese pool, Ice Mountain and also Golden Corner for kai si meen. We then went for the Night Safari at the Taiping Zoo. Quite an experience as it was drizzling throughout. Kinda reminded me of Jurassic Park. We were nicely fed and fat at that time and thank God the tigers, lions and panthers were well fed then too.Beautiful experience.

It was late and i offered them refuge in my mother's 1/5th of a house. Imagine my mom opening the door and introduced to 3 potential sam pohs. Happiness.

Old friends & New

Last weekend was an extended weekend for me. While I was on my way to Taiping i had a stop over in Ipoh to catch-up with an old friend.

She is a wonderful person and she is always ever ready to welcome me with open arms when i drop by Ipoh. We went for lunch at Old Town Kopitiam where we met this angel of a girl who was very friendly and talkative. She is only 6 years old and she is one smart cookie. She was asking us questions one would only expect of a child twice her age. Not only that...she asked us if we said "Grace" before partaking in our meal. Both my friend and i looked at her with mouths wide open just like what James normally does...now followed by his son Jesse, my friend said we did and this kid asked her to repeat it. She did and the kid told her she did it wrong and began to coach her to do it right. And she went on to tell us to be careful and beware of bogus religions and the only way is thru Jesus.

After taking her advise we started taking our lunch and she went on and on about this and that and then she asked me a question...in mandarin. All this while she was speaking in mandarin to us and when i told her i don't understand...well she did you some rather 'big' word...she said, "haiyo...wo men shih hua ren le..." wahlaueh...if i had dentures i would have to pick them off the floor. She then continued in mandarin and having an intelligent conversation with my friend.

Moral of the story...don't underestimate a 6 year old...with no front teeth. Damn chia lat!

Kimster

Kimster that's what i call her, my fave fitness babe of a friend. I bumped into her just as she was about to turn into her fitness place to do classes. Actually she saw my 'less than fit bod' and stopped me for a cuppa to catch up since she's now based in Penang.

It's really cool to catch up with friends after not seeing them for awhile. It's refreshing to know how they are getting along and also to share one's ups and downs, adventures and misadventures. Her palm looks scorched as if she went thru some horrible torture but it's just henna tattoo. It's an indian custom for women in a Hindu wedding. She is not yet wed but her sister was the one who got married in India hence the Henna.

Cool meeting. Cool cuppa. Cool Henna art. Cool fitness babe of a friend and if you wanna burn that gut do an hour of her class...

Blur Sotong

Lately things have been rather blur for me. It's not old age, bad eyesight or the haze to blame. Just questions of "what am i doing? what's next and that sort..."

Sometimes i get this feeling of not knowing what the hell it is i'm looking for or what the hell it is that i'm doing etc. Mid life crisis? Burn out? Well not so according to Whirlwind who was generous enough to brave the after-hours traffic amidst the rain and getting lost on her way to my place.

We of course never debate or share anything without the presence of food...hmm. We had our fortune cookie, pasta, cordon bleu and Big Ass Jug of Watermelon at D' Fortune. Something about food that makes us think and share better. I was rambling & bitching about work, management, annual leaves...the whole nine yards and i began to feel much better. Amidst all these Whirlwind was the commited listener and the "button pusher". She was unrelenting and merciless in a sadistic way. Tightening her vice-like grip on my throat & squeezing everything out.

Then she pops the million dollar question..."What are you doing about personal development?" Puta madre! Is she a witch or something? That question shut me up and...ping! I continue eating. Something registers. I pretend not to hear. Puta madre i am avoiding it...i hear this voice in my head.

Today as i was walking in a bookstore and as i was browsing i realise there is more i need to learn and can learn to improve myself but to have admitted to it yesterday would have made me feel inadequate. Today i learn this for me. Today i choose to embrace my weakness and learn of ways to improve me. Today i stop my 24/7 victim story. Today i take ownership of my weakness.

Today i bought for me Think Like a Manager.

Guardian Angel

Today was a rather busy day for me. Running here and there doing demos, training and customer service.

I had to cut short my visit to the Hilton KL cos i had another appointment near the Hilton PJ before 6pm so i excused myself and left the building soon as i could. I had to take a leak but i decided against it as you know how KL traffic is after 5pm. Furthermore it was drizzling at the time, rather heavily too. Wind was pretty gusty. Came out the parking and headed to Jalan Bangsar. I exited KL Sentral and passed the National Museum which i had been to 3 times i think. Once with the parents way....back then and twice with different dates back then too. It was cheaper than watching movies then besides it was educational too.

Anyway as i passed the Museum traffic was very slow and there were many cars...the beginning of a traffic jam. While in the jam i looked at my time and since the car wasn't moving i looked at the UEM project that was being built on my left. As i looked up, just that moment I saw scaffolding flying off the top of the building and come crashing down. The wind was strong at that moment. My heart stopped a beat after registering what i had just seen. Luckily for us on that particular road there was a big gap between that building and the road and thank God there were guardrails by the pedestrian walk. It kept the scaffoldings from flying onto the road and injuring or killing someone.

Today at that very moment in time...i'll bet (all the drivers on that road) our Guardian Angels were working overtime. I just pray that no one was hurt. God bless our guardian angels.

Peace in Chaos

Last week was a rather crazy and hectic week, somedays worse than others. It is on one of those days where One would consider a bad day. Shitty in fact.

I dragged my feet to meet my customer. I had a quickie and i was outta there. I desperately needed to be with someone uplifting and i realised i had a friend working in Kompleks Antarabangsa. Called her and made appt to meet up for a bite. As i was walking to the appointed place i passed this Koi Pond that this building has. As i got closer to the edge...the Koi's just started getting excited and was swimming in a frenzy. It was very chaotic in the pond...kinda like the Metro, Isetan sale or J-Card day...making all that splashing sound.

Looking at them in their chaos is just so Peaceful. My day... if you must know turned for the better. mm koi Kois'.