Welcome to Wherever You Are!

So I made a new choice. Taking a step into a world i am more familiar than not... singlehood and a false sense of freedom. Interesting that i notice the fact that being single does not necessarily mean Free.

Well...here i am. I am where i choose to be. Suddenly a song from Bon Jovi plays in my head...

"Welcome...to wherever you are,
This is your life, you made it tis far,
Welcome...you gotta believe,
Right here right now...
You are where you are supposed to be..."
- Bon Jovi

I am standing at the edge of life and looking over the edge and wondering, "What the fuck am i doing?" And so i stand very still and just looking over the edge...and wondering, "Where do i go from here?"

This I shall ponder for awhile yet.

La Mariposa

I learn a new word today. La mariposa...the butterfly.

I love butterflies. As a young boy i used to chase after them in Maxwell Hills with my aunties trying to catch them. We had this big butterfly nets left by the Brits when they came to stay at the rest house in Maxwell Hill. I would be shown how to fold a triangular shaped envelope with exercise book paper so that when they caught the butterflies we could put them in it. It was for our collection. Later these butterflies would be preserved and then pinned to photo frames and framed the walls of the rest house.

Later in life i would see the beauty of these butterflies not as something pretty to look at but also to appreciate the fragility of it's life. A butterfly has a very short lifespan (2 weeks in all i think) but it's transformation from cocoon to ugly caterpillar to a beautiful flying creature of the skies is nothing short of amazing. It's life may be short but nothing stops it from living life to the fullest. Being the prettiest it can be and flying free. Perhaps we too can take a lesson from this beauteous creature and be the best that we can be and live Life to the fullest, dance as if no one is watching, love as if there is no tomorrow and all that and all that...la di da.

BE all that you can BE and when you expire and BE fertiliser to the flowers, you can then truly lay claim, " I HAVE LIVED!"

Battle Scarred

This tree like me is battle scarred. It has stood the ravages of time, tested by the winds and rain time and again, ripped off it's bark by insects or foraging animals or just damaged by the hands of man. How much more can it take? How long and how much more scars do i need to collect before i can rest easy?

How much more???

Snap, Crackle & Pop

While Jesse gets his power from the sun when he needs to heal himself just like Ultraman his current hero, daddy and uncle jeff gets their bones popped at Erik's thit ta shop.

James has been having this crick in his neck and other parts of his aging body so i suggested we go see a friend of mine, Erik for a consultation. Erik is a kung fu practitioner and thit ta master. He will align your misaligned backbone and crack the crick out of your neck and wherever else that may be a pain to you. James who has been bitchin' about his pain which he has been suffering and giving my mother sleepless nites just cos he said he needs someone to bend him over and pop his bones. Mother is worried silly cos this son of hers (james that is) can be quite silly and stubborn most of the time and say silly things that scares her.

Mother's silly assed son with erik's student between his legs, not doing what it looks like but massaging his knees. He is fast getting old. So to ease her worry i promised her to bring him to the right person and and get his bones cracked. After Erik was done with him, he was all smiles from ear to frickin ear and he had that ecstatic look of satisfaction on his face. I had a birthday gift alignment from Erik too.

Oh what a feeling...

Birthday with The Boys

Uncle Jeff Rocks On with Jessy!

Sunday the 15th was when the Blog Brothers celebrated my birthday with me. So for the past 2 days i have been gorging myself with food, it was a celebration after all so i was not bothered with putting on weight, besides how meaninful can it be if we celebrated and we did not eat. Downright stupid and sinful to let food go to waste.

So i settled for a customary birthday cake, this one was 4inch diameter i think just so the cow can sit on it and have enuf space for the candles. Now these pisang goreng and ice cream are mui excellente! Where can you find it? It at 6 to 10 in section 17. How to get there? Well..go explore. Half the fun is in the search. :)

We had lotsa food too...nasi lemaks with chicken curry, pork chops (this is babi), red wine pork ribs (recommended) and of cos the banana desert. Jesse was mucking around with uncle jeff as usual. After both the separate (for reasons best left unsaid) celebrations with my sisters and brothers i can still count my blessings that i have them to celebrate with.

Crazy as we are, we are familia. Capish!

Birthday with The Girls

This years birthday is celebrated with a difference not as a whole family as previously or as i would LOVE it! This year i had 3 separate celebrations with the family.

This one is with the sisters and CH's family. No big cake. Just a small 5inch one.

Mom and CH's mom and Joshua my highlight of the day.

Lotsa food and yet something missing. My birthday present was an hour with Joshua at the indoor children's playground and boy did he wear me out. The energy of youth. Luckily i still have youth on my side.

Aww...shuddup!

Standoff

The great master Mahatma Gandhi once said, " An eye for an eye and the whole world will be blind!"...say it with an indian (studying in Oxford) accent and you experience the proverb as if you were standing in front of him.

Such is the chasm that separates us from the truth that God has handed down to us in tablet form, burning bush or visionary dream. No offence intended. Take your pick. Forgive and forget so the Lord sayeth, Love Thy Enemy and all that but all is forgotten when anger clouds one's vision. Forgive me O Lord if i have erred in spreading your word of LOVE, PEACE & JOY!

Listen to John Lennon's legacy... IMAGINE and one might find PEACE!

Wooden Heart

As i walk thru my "church" FRIM last sunday June 15th, i chanced upon a familiar sight. A heart shaped pod. How i came to recognise it was from my experience from the past 72hours. I realised i had a wooden heart.

The 72hours before this day many an event occured. I had just broken up and out of a 3 year old relationship. Had my first flaming lambroughini, drank hard liquor, got pissed drunk, threw up and threw up some more and was driven home by my hou heng tai to his home. I was so pissed that even my legs felt like jello. My hou heng tai promised that he would stop the sky and the world from spinning as he drove me home with his wife and it did stop... I think. Stepping into a new age alone again was not as scary as journeying on with someone i could not promise a lifetime together with hence i chose to step out and let her go. Not heroic but painful cos i hurt her more than i will ever know and she chose to accept and released me with such graciousness that hurt more as i realised that she was practising the age old adage of "If you love someone, set them free."

As i stand at the entrance to my weekend trek, i prayed for her strength & courage, and i ask the Lord to protect her and heal her heart as i walk into the unknown.

Inspiration

This is such an inspiring shot gifted to me by Whirlwind Wendy. She shot this in the streets of Hong Kong i believe. This is one woman who knows what i like...books, art and great legs!

I love to read and perhaps that is also why i love to write/blog. It has always amazed me how some writters can describe a whole environment in a dreary yellowing paged book only colored by it's pretty cover and of course many of us were told when we were much younger to never judge a book by it's cover, a girl by her looks and much more bullshit like that.

Bah! Humbug!

How can one even be remotely excited about something if one was not attracted to it first yes? This picture would just be another street side picture if not for the pretty paintings hanging from the roof and of course that pair of gorgeous legs do make one's head turn...and notice the bookstore. If they weren't there, would you have notice the second hand bookstore?

Those legs inspired this shot and this blog. Are you not inspired?