GUILT

Over the weekend i had the pleasure of my mom, jesse, maddie and kakak's company over at my place.

Since we moved in we have been wanting to bring mom over to stay for the weekend so that she can go do her marketing in a wet market just like back in Taiping. She still loves the bargaining and the sweet smell of a traditional wet market just like me. They came over late sat afternoon and we went nearby for dinner. We had katak porridge, fish porridge, ham tan sau yuk porridge and satay. We had a good evening filling ourselves up. I had promised to bring jesse swimming the next day.

We got up early and headed to the market for breakfast and marketing. By the time we came home, the sun was up and sunny. It was sunday after all and somehow the sun always burns on a sun. As was expected Jesse kept asking when we were going swimming and he kept pestering me and asking me... "when are we going swimming?", I told him we will go down at 4o'clock when the sun is not so hot. So the next repetitive question was..."Is it 4 o'clock yet?"....and a kid can go on and on tirelessly without letting up and drive you up the wall. I was halfway up there, patient as i am. So i told him... "Don't ask anymore, i will let you know when it's 4o'clock and we will go swimming." He gave in and he went to lie on the sofa and ultimately fell asleep. We tried waking him at 4 but he wouldn't budge, gave him another 15mins and it started to rain, so mom said, "let him sleep" and he slept till 5 which was the time mom wanted me to send them back home. We finally got the boy up and packed them all home.

I came home that evening and felt like shit. Guilt was gnawing away at me. I had broken my promise to my lil nephew. I had a restless nite and this continued on till the next day right up till evening when i couldn't take it any longer, i called my mom. Find out how she is and the kids and she mentioned if i had noticed that jesse had tears in his eyes when i sent them home. As if my guilt was not bad enough, He shared with his mamma that he enjoyed staying over at uncle jeff's place and was sad to leave. At this point I just had to talk to him...asked him how he was and I told him how sorry i was that i did not bring him to swim and launch the rocket and if we could do it another time...and he said, "OK!"

Moral of the story...keep your promises (be they to a kid or an adult) or i promise you will feel the GUILT that i felt, and it's no FUN i tell you.